Silicon Valley Startup Raises $400M to Solve Problem That Doesn't Exist Yet

In a Series C round that values the company at $2.3 billion — a figure that even the founders privately admit "sounds made up" — Bay Area startup Nexora.ai has secured $400 million in venture funding to build what their CEO describes as "an AI-native, blockchain-adjacent platform for the post-digital economy." When asked to clarify, he gestured vaguely at a whiteboard covered in arrows that connected to nothing and said, "We're building the infrastructure layer." The pitch deck, which leaked onto Twitter within hours, features stock photos of diverse people pointing at screens, a hockey-stick revenue projection with no labeled Y-axis, and the phrase "we're basically Stripe meets Uber for the enterprise." Investors reportedly fought for allocation. The product launches in Q4, or possibly never. Both outcomes are priced in.